It’s true. I’ve spent a big chunk of my life making decisions based on what I should do.
What does this word even signify? Who defines this should and why should (ha) I listen to them?
Here’s what I figured out…
Earlier this week I was struggling to make a decision about a new opportunity that had come my way. I kept thinking of all the reasons why I should take it. I’d build a new connection, make some money, and hey, maybe even learn a thing or two. But something didn’t feel right.
I ended up spending the whole week having this totally crazy debate with myself, going back and forth in my head, and feeling all this pressure to do the “right” thing.
It wasn’t until I sat down with one of my most blooming girlfriends and she asked me, “Sandra, does this new opportunity energize you?”
At that moment everything became crystal clear…
Why aren’t we all asking ourselves this question?
Instead of making decisions based on what we should do, why not start asking the more meaningful questions that might actually shed some light on our inner most desires? Eliminate the word should altogether and dig a little deeper – after all, this is your life that you’re writing.
Does this piece of my life ENERGIZE me or does it leave me feeling tired, resistant, and anxious? Is this something that will bring benefit to my heart and soul? Am I happy doing this? Does it get me fired up?
Most times, the answer will be loud and clear. Obviously the tougher part is taking action, especially when all those shoulds look really nice and comfy.
When fear starts chirping you…
While I’ve gotten to a place in my own heart where I see fear as a friend and not a foe, I still get scared about these things.
In this particular situation, I was terrified others would see me as a failure and that I’d miss out on money that wouldn’t come back to me. Ultimately I felt that if I wasn’t busy achieving I wasn’t worthy.
These are what I called fear-based thoughts and they really suck.
I couldn’t get out of this funk by myself so I opted to use a life-line and called my dad.
His response was so simple yet exceptionally empowering. He said, “ Love yourself for who you are NOT by what you achieve.” Yes, that’s a tweetable!
So back to this idea of “should”…
When we make decisions based on this invisible force named should, we end up missing out on a piece of our truth.
All these shoulds create this cobweb of a life based on ideas and principles that others have instilled upon us.
It becomes this slippery slope where one ‘should’ just follows the other and before we know it, whose life are we really living?
Make more heart-based decisions…
Choose with your heart to do things that fill your spirit with energy, not things that someone out there at some point in time, decided was what you should do.
These heart-decisions are the ones that lead us down new paths and fill our soul with a burning desire that will elevate us to new heights.
Yes, it’s scary to listen to our heart sometimes but happiness is born in the heart. Tweet this!